An Agonizing Decision

As we journey through life, we are faced with many decisions and reach many crossroads as we travel.  Deciding what to choose or which way to go must always be processed through the lens of our faith.   Two of the biggest issues that we have struggled with have been related to abortion and gay rights. While we have strong personal views regarding both of those issues, we also strongly feel that we have no right to impose those views on anyone else.  Our faith tells us to worry about ourselves and not to judge others and so we work very hard to do just that.  We are not always successful but we try.  The establishment of a LGBT Support Group at our church has brought us to a crossroad not of our choosing but one which we must navigate nonetheless. 

First, we need for you to understand some things about how we feel.  It is not a sin to be gay, period!  Whether it is nature or nurture, we don’t know and we don’t care.  Just because you are gay doesn’t make you any less in God’s sight than anyone else.  Jesus loves those who are gay just as much as he loves anyone else.  We believe that gay people should be welcomed into the church and provided with the same nurture and access to Christ as anyone.  If two gay people love each other and want to commit to spending their lives together, they should receive the same protections under civil law as any other couple.  This is in regard to ownership or inheritance of property, the ability to make medical decisions, tax law regarding couples etc.  We truly believe that people in the LGBT community are of sacred worth in the eyes of God.

Where we have an issue relates to sex.  We have studied and searched the Scriptures.  We have prayed and prayed asking for guidance and discernment.   We have listened to, and analyzed, other’s rationalizations and interpretations and tried very hard to understand their position.  We have read the views of countless others and we continue to come to the same personal conclusion.  The Bible tells us that the only sex that God approves is between a man and a woman in a covenant marriage relationship.  We believe that pre-marital sex is a sin, adultery is a sin, self-pleasure sex is a sin and homosexual sex is a sin.  So what, you say, since we all sin.  You are absolutely right, we all sin and fall short.  The life of any honest Christian consists of constant repentance and renewal. Can we be forgiven of our sin?  Absolutely we can, through the grace of Jesus Christ.  We condemn no one for their lifestyle.  Someone else’s sin is no worse than our own.

However, that’s not my point.  The LGBT Support group will be sponsored by our church and will be led by one of our pastors.  Its purpose is to minister to the needs of the gay community as Christians and that is precisely what it should do.  We have no problem with the establishment of this support group.  It is what we need to do as Christians.  Our problem is that, knowing the views of the pastor leading this group, they will be told that practicing homosexual sex is not a sin and they need not ask forgiveness for it.  That brings us to a position where, in our opinion, our church has chosen to teach doctrine contrary to what the Bible provides.

As this practice is validated in the support group, it will, by extension, be viewed as the position of Christ Church, regardless of what its “official” position is.  We were assured that Christ Church would never take an official position in opposition with the Discipline, but that is not the point.  The members of this group will be taught that if they are in a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex, then they are not doing anything that requires forgiveness. They will have received this counsel from the Church!

This will make it impossible for us to continue to promise to support the Methodist Church because for us the Methodist Church is Christ Church and to do otherwise would make us a fraud.  Nor will we stand up and make people choose sides.  It is not our place to judge or to impose our views on anyone.  Accordingly, Sarah and I are simply withdrawing our membership from the Methodist Church and will go elsewhere.  This is a decision that we have agonized over and is truly heart breaking for us since Christ Church and its people are so dear to us and such an important part of our lives.  We have no ill will toward anyone and we will continue to love ALL of you; each and everyone.  We do, and will continue to, count you as friends we love.  But as we said at the beginning, we have been taken to a crossroad and have been forced to choose.  We are faced with choosing some of what is most dear to us or our faith, and we have no choice but to choose according to our faith.  We know that some of you won’t understand and we are prepared for whatever consequences arise from this.  We love you and will miss you!